Five years

For the past five years,

I have been flying in and out from here.

I have been taking emergency flight back home when uwan and atuk admitted.

I have been worrying almost all the time when they are not feeling well.

And, I am tired now.

For the past five years,

I have been asking my parents to fetch me from airport every single flight.

I have been needing their help to send me to airport every single flight.

I have been visiting hundreds of times to the airports.

And, I am tired now.

For the past five years,

I have been alone here without my family.

I have been cooking in the kitchen without mak.

I have been driving without abah by my side.

And, I am tired now.

For the past five years,

I have been dreaming of me going back home for good.

I have been imagining myself become a student again.

I have been dreaming a lot of dreams.

And, I am tired now.

And now,
i am torn between my master and my family.

Getting my master degree is definitely my ultimate dream.
(Don't get me wrong, finding a husband and having a happy family is still in my top priority)
But when it comes to family, I am definitely more than sure which one I'll choose.

So,
decision was made.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
not this time, study leave.
unless miracles happen (which almost happen, inshAllah)
I am praying hard that everything will go smoothly and as planned.

But,
I am not kidding.
I can't wait to stop this 2.5 hours journey.





lots of love from 1013 miles away,
betty