Skip to main content

Posts

Five years

For the past five years, I have been flying in and out from here. I have been taking emergency flight back home when uwan and atuk admitted. I have been worrying almost all the time when they are not feeling well. And, I am tired now.
For the past five years, I have been asking my parents to fetch me from airport every single flight. I have been needing their help to send me to airport every single flight. I have been visiting hundreds of times to the airports. And, I am tired now.
For the past five years, I have been alone here without my family. I have been cooking in the kitchen without mak. I have been driving without abah by my side. And, I am tired now.
For the past five years, I have been dreaming of me going back home for good. I have been imagining myself become a student again. I have been dreaming a lot of dreams. And, I am tired now.


And now,
i am torn between my master and my family.

Getting my master degree is definitely my ultimate dream.
(Don't get me wrong, findi…
Recent posts

Winter in Tokyo

Assalamualaikum. Hai there, it has been so long I did not write here. Probably will try to write more frequent this year. (konon azam tahun baru)
We just came back from Tokyo. Not really that baru. 10 days ago and we think that I should write about this trip. In case anyone out there need references on how we survived our trip for nine days.
But, let me tell you something. 1. I am going to write in bahasa rojak (if you feel annoyed reading it please do not read from the start). Well, I saw some netizens commented on FB post bout how someone tulis post pasal "OPAH" using bahasa rojak which I think it is just another desperate attention seekers tactic.
2. This is NOT "You can survive Tokyo under RM 1000" or "Visit Japan for budget only RM300". We do not restrict our budget at all. The cost is not really cheap but we tried our best to minimize the budget. 
So, here you go....
Flight ticket One fine day, my housemate said she wants to go somewhere cold to cel…

You go girl!

hai there!
it has been so long I did not post anything. I did wrote something but I did not post it. too many things happened. I'm getting older. not only me, you also right?
2016 gonna leave us in few months time. my boss favorite question is, "what  have you achieved this year, Izzati?" apparently, I'm still cracking my head for an answer at least to his question this year.
honestly, I never imagine that I'm gonna be here today. never imagine myself in Sabah for FOUR years. freaking FOUR years! I survived staying 1013 miles away from my parents. despite you know I flew back almost once a month. up to a point people are wondering if I got boyfriend back in Semenanjung. its more than a boyfriend. its my parents! its another long story. need to dedicate one whole post to summarize my 4 years in Sabah.
you know what,  things happen unexpectedly. once I had a very bad heartbroken. I put too much hope in someone. it took me so long till I can completely move on. Libra is very loy…

pesan abah

abah selalu pesan pada kami adik-beradik, dalam hidup ini kita tak akan dapat semua benda ada benda kita kena korbankan untuk dapat yang lain
betul abah. menginjak umur hampir 30 (oh, exaggerate saja), macam-macam ragam manusia boleh nampak. duduk jauh 1013 batu daripada keluarga, siapa sangka hampir 4 tahun dah dekat sini. tengok orang pergi jalan, terus jadi macam budak kecik mengadu dekat abah. dan abah as usual, trying hard to calm me down. "ada benda yang orang tu tak buat, tapi angah buat. sebab tu dia boleh pergi jalan tapi angah tak" too bad future husband. abah already put a higher level of my expectations to men in my heart.
dengan jujur, I spend most of my salary for flight tickets. kan dulu pernah saya coretkan, kalau balik setiap bulan boleh buat mak abah happy, saya akan buat.  bahkan kalau setiap minggu pun mungkin saya sanggup. syurga saya masih lagi di bawah tapak kaki mak. balancing life between work and family is important. I'm learning a lot of things here. to be ind…

Why I love this place?

Oh, wow!
Tak ada post langsung in 2015. Not good.
Never mind, sempena genap tiga tahun dekat Sabah, I decided to write something about here.
My life. My work. And everything.
Sorry for the broken English like how my research mates always said "our England not good".

I knew that feeling bila dapat tahu kena lapor diri dekat Sabah.
Nak drama lagi rasa dunia kelam seketika. Nafas terhenti.
Oh, come on adik. Sabah tu bukan dekat Kutub Selatan saaaaana.
2 jam 30 minit sampai KL dah, inshAllah kalau tak delay.
Berat hati. Seberat bontot yang dah lama tak pergi jogging tu.
Tapi, go and talk to your senior pharmacist. Bukan your colleague yang akan keep on pushing you down sebab diorang dapat dekat dengan rumah.
Now, its your time to make your own decision. Not your colleague.
Kalau tak ada apa-apa masalah atau halangan, pergi saja lah. Untung-untung lapor diri dapat Kota Kinabalu. Lagi untung dapat jauh sikit.

Dulu mula-mula datang, dalam hati dah hajat,
"duduk sini paling lam…

Gembira

Ada orang menangis, bila gembira.  Ada orang ketawa, bila gembira. 
Tapi apa sebenarnya yang buat kita gembira?
Skor 4.0 dalam exam? Mengolok kawan yang jatuh di tandas? Tolong makcik angkat barang sambil melintas jalan? Makan durian Musang King sampai sendawa?
Alang call last few weeks.  Dia sedih tak dapat buat mak abah gembira. 
So, I asked her how you define gembira? How mak abah define gembira?
For me, Jika balik every month tu dapat buat mak abah gembira, saya akan balik.  Jika minta transfer tu dapat buat mak abah gembira, saya akan minta.  Jika kahwin tu dapat buat mak abah gembira, saya akan kahwin. 
Cuma, belum rezeki saya untuk balik duduk dengan mak abah. Belum sampai jodoh saya untuk kahwin. 
Its different when it comes to her situation.  Dia ada dekat rumah every single day. Tolong mak basuh pinggan. Tolong abah angkat baju.  Macamana desperatenya saya nak duduk rumah! Nak buat semua benda untuk gembirakan mak abah. Jealous!  Cari makna gembira dalam kehidupan seharian kita.  Setiap aspek k…

random

Hello weekend. 
Having this little computer with me buat rasa nak menulis tu datang balik. But this is totally random. Woke up on Saturday morning with mixed feelings. Just took few minutes after packed my bag for short trip with Nedhu. Pity her. Nak kejutkan bangun pagi ni pun tak sampai hati. Lumrah seorang junior doctor i think.
Random post.  Random people. Random idea.
Abah selalu pesan, Dalam hidup kita tak akan dapat semua benda yang kita nak. We have to choose. We have to prioritize things. And kadang-kadang tak semua yang kita nak kita dapat. People can be so beruntung, Alhamdulillah.  Blessed with a happy family. Blessed with a good job.  Tapi ada orang diuji Allah macam-macam. 
I'll always remind my little sister, Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286.  Allah tu Maha Mengetahui more than anyone. He is the creator sebab tu Dia tahu hambaNya.  Dia tahu sejauh mana kemampuan hambaNya untuk menghadapj ujian dariNya.  Senjata utama adalah doa. Dan setiap perancangan semua adalah daripadaNya. 
And for p…