Skip to main content

You go girl!

hai there!

it has been so long I did not post anything. I did wrote something but I did not post it.
too many things happened. I'm getting older. not only me, you also right?

2016 gonna leave us in few months time.
my boss favorite question is, "what  have you achieved this year, Izzati?"
apparently, I'm still cracking my head for an answer at least to his question this year.

honestly, I never imagine that I'm gonna be here today.
never imagine myself in Sabah for FOUR years. freaking FOUR years!
I survived staying 1013 miles away from my parents.
despite you know I flew back almost once a month. up to a point people are wondering if I got boyfriend back in Semenanjung. its more than a boyfriend. its my parents!
its another long story. need to dedicate one whole post to summarize my 4 years in Sabah.

you know what, 
things happen unexpectedly.
once I had a very bad heartbroken. I put too much hope in someone. it took me so long till I can completely move on. Libra is very loyal, please take note. I lied to everyone that I am fine but actually I am not. but lucky enough I have supportive people around me. their advises and opinions really really help me to move on. and make me realize Allah is the one and I should pray hard to Him rather than putting hope in other human being.

and then, I started to plan my future. did another thing unexpectedly that no one else did.
I cancelled my transfer application. I did not make that decision in one night,
I got permission from abah emak first. then only I submitted my letter.
everything went smoothly. Alhamdulillah.

one fine day, abah emak asked if I got any boyfriend. the recovered broken-heart start to feel uneasy again. I said no. so, they being honest and said their friend want his son and me to get to know each other. nothing wrong in getting to know someone right? 

but...

I am so confused. the way he text, the way he communicate. i feel so weird. then, we stop texting after 1 week. I did istikharah cause I know the main intention behind that is moving on to the next stage. surprisingly, during raya, his father and mother came to my house and send "cincin tanda". to make it worst, he never told me about that! and did not have any courtesy to text me after that! I texted him first 3 days after his family came. make it short, I asked mak abah to return back the ring. I feel so guilty. but I can't jeopardize my future. 

I celebrated my 27th birthday last month.
I am 27 and I am single and not even have a single scandal.
I am happy.
I told myself, after 30th September 2017, I'll stop looking for my future husband.
There are obviously so many other things I need to do. I can not keep on thinking about this.
Count down begins, and I left with another 337 days.

there are things that I think people do not understand us.
we are 27 and still single.

people think we are choosy. 
people think we are complicated.
people think we are not looking at any candidates.

you will never understand us. 
stop talking nonsense about us.

for me, the calculation is simple.
I have been so independent (though I still have not try to change my own car's battery yet).
at least I know how to isi angin tayar :P
If someone can show me how he can handle me, plan everything ahead and show some leadership skill, sure I'll give some space of my broken heart to him la.
but if that someone also do not give a damn, why should I?

for me,
relationship is a two ways communication. 
I can plan everything for us. where and when we are going to meet.
tapi, tak kan everytime wants to meet up pun only me who decide?

well, I can be clingy sometimes (major mistake!) but I learnt my lesson.
stand up strong. wake up and plan ahead your day without putting in anyone else name in your schedule. if someone came in, just add it to your planner with a PENCIL!
so you can erase it anytime.

I met this someone. thru a friend of mine.
day after my friend give his friend's phone number, he asked me have both of us start texting?
me being the heart broken one straight away look at him and said, "why i should text first?"
so, he decided to make a group with 3 of us, just to introduce me to his friend.
the weirdest whatsapp group ever! haha. but thanks for that :D

it feels weird to meet someone you don't know. tapi bila lagi nak blind date kan?
it is not that easy for me to agree with this thing. last time I went out, it does not end very well (in fact we ruined our friendship). I am not so sure where this thing is heading to.
to the which path of life.

I hope that someone did not read this.
it is not that easy to understand a grown-up man. I have this problem.
I think they are complicated. They probably do not like that idea of texting.
I am assuming though. haha. Not a phone call also.
Too workaholic. and probably they are too comfortable being single.
why need to add another commitment kan?

the heart broken girl decided,
not to be too clingy. so she does not text him that frequent. in fact he did not reply sometimes.
not to show him that she care. so she only send an e-card to him on his birthday which she hopes that the email address is correct.
pretty sure, Allah knows the best, keep calm and pray harder.


time to hit the bed now.
rambling bout too many things already. 


blowing you a kiss from across the miles,
betty





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

papadom

hey there im at home now wasting time with internet and stuck in front of this laptop. seems like my life is so great without exam.but still i was thinking about it. so,after zuhur i went to melaka for my dentist appointment.and the brackets is not here anymore.finally after 4 years and 10 months and 4 days all the brackets have been removed except the lower front brackets.its feel weird but my teeth look different.my two front teeth is bigger so it is quite obvious.somehow,i'll have to wear retainers tomorrow.and there'll be some wires on my teeth.i hope it'll take 3 months only. then,im off to melaka mall and watched papadom with en.norzhafran.he was late and we cant find our seat and yet decided to sit at the 3rd row from the front.actually the seating is different from the screen that shows seats during booking.thats why im confused when finding the seat.no matter what i should really thanks apan.without him i'll end up watching the best and funny papadom alone.in r...

north to south:weddings journey

hello people been from north malaysia to the south for the sake of attending wedding invitations and meet my classmates.its worth every penny and time spent.me love travelling.though its tiring but its fun.my flight to alor setar on wednesday morning but did i told you i had dinner with my girl friends before that at Delicious Mid Valley.that delicious carbonara and frosty watermelon lychee.plus the red velvet cupcakes.nyummy.thanks dear friends for lending me your ears to hear all my stupid stories and for that curhat moment. 4.30 am we took bus from KL Setral to LCCT.arrived at alor setar around 8 something in the morning.thank you fathi fo picking us up at the airport.haven't been there since my brother complete his five years there and some places still look the same as before.had breakfast at Nasmir.then we don't know what to do and fathi drives us around showing all the paddy fields,his tok wans' houses,gunung keriang and finally we stop at Muzium Padi. we went to ano...

quick update from a sister

I miss my blog.  Blame Sabah for it. Okay blame me.   Alhamdulillah life in Sabah so far so good. Can't lie to myself that I'm fine here being 1012 miles away from my parents. You can see me smiling everyday in the pharmacy because my parents call me every night. In fact they call their kids every night. Tau sangat nak tunggu anak-anak call mesti abah emak dah tidur. Cause you know to travel more than 60km to reach the school everyday is not that easy for abah. Okay probably he'll said that its easy cause he has been traveling everyday since few years ago but for me her daughter, its troublesome.  Now you understand why we celebrate Teacher's Day? Sabah and Negeri Sembilan is not that far anymore. Since Nov 2012 I'm home four times already.  Even my DPT pun dah nak terkoyak kulit dia. Abang kastam tak nak tengok dah DPT tu. LOL.  Alhamdulillah, glad few friends datang melawat kami. Okay perasan. Datang melawat Sa...