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finding the one

hi there.
(i know you are reading this but i'll just pretend that i don't know)
i am in the lazy mood but i just want to kill my 20 minutes mask-time.
so, bear with my all small caps this post.
(too lazy to even press the shift button)

actually,
i am half way writing my birthday trip entry but it is still in draft.
lol
cause i feel like writing something else.

everyone definitely want to find someone in their life.
someone who care
someone who understand
someone who will be there by their side
and i am one of them, like any other people

reality today,
at this age, i have received uncountable times of that multi-million dollar question about marriage. i can feel the pressure last time but as i get older i get wiser as well (masuk bakul angkat sendiri) and i am getting better in answering that question with my infinity answer.

i am pretty sure there are people out there think that me and my friends who are still single and available that we are too picky. put too high standard for someone to become our husband.
please take note that we are not picky or choosy
we do not even have options to choose
i don't know why it is so difficult for them to understand
and, being picky to choose someone who will spend your entire life with is not wrong at all

me,
i have met so many people and it is difficult for me to get close with stranger.
takkan baru message sehari dah nak bagitau
"i nak tidur ni", "i masak nasi harini",  "i nak berak ni"
so, i am telling you my fellow friends, break the ice harder. some people are not that easy for them to crack the stranger code. but make sure you do it in a proper way. bukan main hentam aje.
and i always feel that consistent is the key

getting near to that 3 series,
i know people around me especially my big family members are worried about me.
i am definitely okay living like this. enjoying my single life every single day. eat whatever i want. sleep whenever i want. watching tv in my work outfit till 9pm. who cares right?
i am not that desperate to get married now.
the only time i badly want to get married is when arwah uwan admitted in CCU, IJN.
i want her to be there witnessing that moment but i know it is impossible as Allah loves her more that all of us. and Allah definitely knows the best for me too.

why being picky and choosy is not wrong at all?
when i even choose my oranges for my daily vitamin c supply, why i can't choose my husband?
knowing myself, i know there are things that not everyone can stand
the clothes in almari must be facing to the left.
the blouse arranged according to color tone
the toothpaste must be cap properly and no comot-comot
the tip of toothbrush can't touch anything except the toothpaste and the teeth
the laundry must be separated into three different baskets
simple things but for me it is something big
it is my daily life routine
i need to make sure, that future someone can at least accept me as who i am
stop asking us why so picky
thanks.

almost my lights off time

libra is born to be loyal. and my loyalty is definitely uncontrollable.
don't judge
another reason i am scared to get to know someone is because i just hate that goodbye feelings
either it will end up in a good goodbye or a bad one
i don't like it

to conclude my post today,
i am not currently having any relationship with anyone
i am not even actively looking (not even messaging) for any candidates
i am happy as who i am today
and
i can't lie.
i am still keeping my little hope and pray that someone will break harder his ego, will stop playing this game and finish everything that started 5 years ago in a proper way.
i know i never get a definite answer from him everytime i ask, but i decided to keep that feelings until he get married. maybe that will be the best time for me to move on.

i learn things the harder way,
do you?


love from 1013 miles away,
izzati






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