hari raya

hari ini sudah hari raya kedua dan sudah 5 hari berada di rumah.
hari raya seperti tahun-tahun sudah juga.jadual yang sama.aktiviti yang sama.orang yang sama.tiada yang berbeza.yang pergi tetap pergi.yang baru jejak kaki ke dunia tetap masih baru.
dan malam ini seperti biasa teratak sederhana ini akan sedia menanti kedatangan saudara-mara yang berkereta-kereta.mereka sangat ramai.sehinggakan saya sendiri tidak mengenali mereka.mereka datang.makan berbual ketawa dan pulang itu sahaja.jumpa setahun sekali.mungkin di kenduri kendara juga.tapi sekurang-kurangnya saya tahu saya punyai saudara-mara lagi.indahnya aidilfitri.

lebih gembira jika saya katakan tahun ini Allah beri saya berpuasa penuh sebulan.tidak perlu fikir untuk menggantikan puasa.kali terakhir saya penuh berpuasa mungkin semasa tingkatan 3 atau 4.insyAllah jika panjang umur akan disempurnakan puasa sunat syawal pula.tahun ini kerap kali ketemu dengan bayi.mereka comel,manja dan tidak tahu apa-apa.sepupu saya ramai yang sudah berbayi secara tidak langsung saya menjadi mak ngah mereka.bilalah abang saya hendak kahwin dan ada bayi ini?

sakit pinggang dan perut yang melanda malam ini sangat menganggu.rasa seperti mahu tidur sahaja sekarang tapi kasihan pada emak yang harus kemas rumah dan layan tetamu.nasib baik adik-adik sudah besar dan mereka boleh dibuli untuk membuat kerja.saya harap emak tidak terlalu penat.saya mahu tonton congkak sekarang.

selamat hari raya dan maaf zahir batin.

sedang menanti

and here i am waiting for edyham to start our journey back home.
never mind.im getting used with waiting.you tell me how long to wait and in the end i'll.
maybe my middle name was destined to be waiting.

you know what sometimes i wish when i come back home
my mom will approach me and talk about someone to me
maybe her friend's son or whoever it may be
haha.sounds desperate i think?
but thats real.

although most of my close friends still single of course we want to have a boyfriend too one day.maybe the time is not now.and by the way,i just realized that im not even 20 yet.in a few weeks time im not a teen-agers anymore.i think i have to enjoy my single and teenagers years before being in a relationship with someone.

from my own opinion having someone close to you really helps when you need someone to talk,to cry.to get mad with and to laugh.i used to have a very close friend during matriculation.thats my first time having a boy as my close friend.we talked about everything.he loves football but im not but i still can accompany him staying up late watching world cup.we have lunch,dinner together.when i have to left matriks we still keep in touch until he coupled with my best friend.im too happy for them but unfortunately she get jealous with me and here it goes i stop sms with him for about 2 years i think.but we went out together with my friends once and we can talked like before again.

during my pre-pharmacy year,i dont really get close with the boys.maybe their number is too small.but later i think the relationship is getting better and we can go out and eat together,study together.but im happy cause i got my girl friends with me.we're still together after all these years.6 of us.we've lots of fights,arguments and besides that we also have lots of sweet memories together.i really hope it'll last forever.

when my degree starts in 2007,there are still 6 of us together.moving to the condominium together.lots of fun in langkawi.but in the same time without me realizing it,i get to know someone which i talked about most everything happen.but this time around its different.i think i misunderstood the closeness of us.but it goes normally that we're friends unofficially from my first semester till now.quite a long time.i hope we're still friends until the end of the day.whatever happens,we fight a lot.disagree with each other a lot.getting mad with each other a lot.and we also have sweet memories too.may that remains forever.

here it goes.wonder why im writing this entry while waiting.luckily i've finished packing all my stuffs and only this laptop left on my table.maybe the sweet memories make my day today.insyAllah i'll reach home this afternoon.my toilet already renovated.it will be much more comfortable to take a shower now.im loving it.

take care.

last lecture before aidilfitri

hello again

im writing this entry after my last lecture just now.
and now here i am sitting alone in this empty house again and no one is here.
everyone is on their way back home already.my last iftar here will not be as great as before but no worries.besides,im having some sort of diarrhea today.may i say the worst diarrhea after a few years.its really killing me and i think i really need to depends on ranitidine everyday during sahur.or else i'll have this one kind of stomachache during the day.

i found out i've a collection of nasyids downloaded during previous ramadhan at our condominium.it just another way to release out the boringness in me.did i told you that during high school we love to sing nasyid and that time a few songs really stuck in our head and we can sing it anywhere we like.miss the good old days people.

last monday,another great outings with my friends.3 years is another big numbers we didnt meet each other and like we got lots of stories to share,lots of memories to recall back and lots of things to talk.went to OU for iftar and headed to theobroma chocolate for dessert.the day was amazing.as usual,im not the talkative one so better keep quiet and be a good listener.and ira's drive her mama's new car and the car is damn smart.i told you all of us feels really good with the car.its so amazing and smart and intelligent.i dont know when we'll meet again.but insyAllah next time if you guys are on holiday and we can go out again as long as someone can pick us at puncak alam.

im going back home tomorrow with edyham.i think i should really say thank you to edyham cause he is going to send me directly in front of my house.meet my father and carry my bag till the door.i wonder can i find someone like him?but tomorrow will be a bit different because im heading to my mom's school and later pick my sisters from their hostel.i would love to do that.since i was in high school i always dream to pick my sister from hostel for their holiday.you know how much i loved my sisters.they're like everything to me.

this semester i think is quite difficult for me to write everyday.since the internet connection is not too good and im quite tired lately.by the way,im losing another 3 kg this ramadhan.alhamdulillah.although my younger sister is losing like 15 kg but i still feel good cause im not in the 6x kg anymore.wanna reach my target 52 kg one fine day.this is my last weight when i was in standard 6.im getting fatter after standard 3.should i blame the joyness i had after passed my PTS examination?

i was thinking of getting some sleep after my asar prayer.cant wait to finish this novel.and im sure im gonna fell asleep while reading it.as im so lazy to walk in the rain to go to bazar at rafflesia for some food,i'll rather have maggi for my iftar.im sparing my stomach for some nasi briyani at home on friday.i hope i can go out tonight.someone please bring me out.

selamat berbuka puasa.

weekend is finally here

hello there

im so sorry its been a while since my last entry.just finished my pharmacognosy test this morning and its like i need some extra sleep tonight.however,we planned to iftar at one utama and watch the ugly truth after that.will update later about today if the internet connection permits me to do so.i've been going back home every week since ramadhan but this weekend i'll stay here.i should say this week is another busy week for me.i come back to campus monday night.i've reading test and quiz 3 for mandarin on tuesday.which i didnt study anything during weekend.then on wednesday which is yesterday we've a choir competition.unfortunately we failed to be the winner.after that we've faculty's annual iftar at angsana.ikan bakar served for iftar is the best ikan bakar in puncak alam i think.

i forgot to tell you that last weekend i went to zoo melaka with adilah,ned and najwa.najwa is adilah's sister and she has a lot of things to talk and sometimes shes too honest when complaining about something.for the first time in my life i drive alone from my house to melaka and i should say its another experience.i can feel the tiredness in me when i reached home that evening.i wonder how can people drive from north to south in a journey.but i think as long as i didnt do anything wrong my father will trust me to drive again next time.

its already 20th ramadhan.i hope Allah give me the oppurtunity to meet with lailatul qadar this year.i've been searching for lailatul qadar since i was in standard 3 if im not mistaken.insyAllah this year i'll try my best to wake up in the middle of the night and solat.

today we're off to one utama for iftar.selamat berbuka.dan selamat beribadah.

when i sleep unconsciously

lately i sleep without proper doa,without proper bantal
and the result is saya mimpi bukan-bukan

last night i woke up at 1 o'clock dengan terperanjatnya
how can suddenly you appear beside me
siapa tak terjaga kalau tiba-tiba mimpi macam itu?

so hanah advice me to sleep properly next time barulah tak mimpi pelik-pelik
if i know im gonna fall asleep absolutely i'll sleep properly
usually i dont have any intention to sleep when i lay down
thats why i dont prepare anything except i already brushed my teeth

i wonder why...
you keep a distance between us.okay,thats good for me.
i keep on dreaming about you.its not relevant at all.

whatever it is i've to accept it

take care and have a nice day

the olive oil finally

alhamdulillah finally the presentation for olive oil berjaya disampaikan
i can mark this as difficult presentation to understand and to deliver and to collect information
i dont know about others but after our presentation is till cant really understand what its all about.maybe i really need to study pharmacognosy for this coming test harder.

this week perhaps is another good week for me except one thing
forget about the not good thing
i've completed two presentations and both are fine.alhamdulillah.
another reading test for mandarin next week and pharmacognosy too.

i was thinking of going back tomorrow if and only if someone offer me to go back too
but still my schedule is flexible and i can change anytime i want
even we're thinking of going to malacca this sunday.
a visit to taman buaya and break fast at ikan bakar and sleep over at my house
monday is another public holiday for us.time to relax and prepare for test.

i think my parents want me to go back.sometimes i think both of them must be a little bit boring during weekdays.and weekend is the only time when we usually be at home and went out for supper together.i missed my last two weekends.sounds like im gonna try my best to go back tomorrow.still depends.sometimes i dont want to cause trouble to anyone.

tonight we have choir practice for next week minggu apresiasi.bagi nama untuk suka-suka dan support the program.and kupon and sijil too.everybody is looking for coupon nowadays.we've to fight for college next semester.and tomorrow is already 14th ramadhan.alhamdulillah we're already half way of journey through ramadhan.insyAllah this ramadhan i'll try my best to search lailatul qadar.marilah sama-sama kita mencari.

selamat berpuasa people.take care.selamat bersahur dan berbuka.

i hate it when i cant get you out of my mind

please go away

Happy Birthday Mak

1st september,
happy birthday mak
may Allah bless you and semoga panjang umur dan murah rezeki

and today it turns out to be my presentation for biotech and
i manage to overcome the nervousness in me
so finally we get the best presentation for today
and zah and i announced as the best speakers
today is another great day
hopefully my pharmacognosy's presentation can be as great as this one
insyAllah