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bersendiri atau berdikari


beritahu aku apa bezanya
terangkan pada aku apa definisinya
aku tak mengerti
dan aku tak memahami

susah untuk ditafsir bukan?
susah lagi untuk menafsir
maka fahamilah diri sendiri
kerna itu yang paling bererti


aku tahu hormon dalam badan mula mempengaruhi perasaan.bila aku lebih suka bersendiri.tambahan lagi akhir-akhir ini keputusan ujian-ujian aku kurang menggembirakan.aku sedih dan sedikit kecewa dan sedikit putus asa.aku tak tahan melihat kejayaan orang lain sedangkan terlalu banyak masa dan tenaga dan fikiran aku lontarkan untuk belajar.tapi pasti mereka lebih banyak mengorbankan segala-galanya.maka aku rasa bersendiri bukan satu kesalahan.mungkin menjadikan aku lebih berdikari dan sedar siapa diri ini.kalau boleh aku tak mahu susahkan sesiapa lagi mulai sekarang.aku harus menjadi diri sendiri dan berusaha sedaya upaya.aku harus kuat.terlalu banyak dugaan Allah akhir-akhir ini.aku tak sekuat mana untuk menghadapinya tapi sekurang-kurangnya aku harus berusaha.aku berdoa aku dikurniakan kesihatan yang baik dan bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.yang penting aku mesti belajar dan belajar dan pastikan selepas ini aku lebih bersedia untuk setiap ujian dan dapat keputusan yang baik.pasti sejadah dan bilik air akan menjadi teman air mata aku minggu ini.selamat mengalir air mata.

Comments

Mardhiyah said…
zati!! be strong!! Allah wont test u without knowing you can endure it!! markah test kte pun sgt2 terok.. even trok dr everyone else.. yg pntg skrg is to wake up.. n be prepared for the bigger challenges ahead, success is not forever, failure is not fatal :D
izzati said…
mardhiyah,
thanks mar.i know there must be hikmah disebalik semua dugaan Allah.sometimes mar i cant even think rationally about it.i really need a strong heart but i dont have it.but be prepared is the best answer.final exams are waiting.

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